


Facade of a Emperor

by YumeLelouch



Category: Code Geass
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys Kissing, Code Geass Kink Meme, Failed Zero Requiem, Kink Meme, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Zero Requiem, Series Spoilers, Spoilers, SuzaEuphy (Mentioned), SuzaLulu - Freeform, Zero Requiem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 16:44:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,188
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9666107
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YumeLelouch/pseuds/YumeLelouch
Summary: Written for the Code Geass Kink Meme.Prompt: Lelouch declares his love for Suzaku the night before he's supposed to die, but then doesn't."I'm in love with you, Suzaku. Suzaku, I have hurt you. I've done things I can never take back. I killed your beloved Euphemia, I killed many Japanese citizens, and I commanded you to live because I was too afraid to lose you. I don't deserve your friendship, your trust, I don't even deserve you talking to me at this very moment or you as my knight. I sure as hell do not deserve your love."





	

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! I really loved the idea of this prompt so I did it! I apologize, because the characterization may jump all over. I think at some parts they might be a little out of character, and I'm sorry about that. But I hope you like it for the most part! c: Thank you for reading!

Written for the Code Geass Kink Meme. Prompt: Lelouch declares his love for Suzaku the night before he's supposed to die, but then doesn't.

 

"Suzaku, I..." Lelouch began. "Yeah?" Suzaku asked. Lelouch stopped himself. Lelouch killed Euphy. Lelouch commanded Suzaku to live, even when he obviously didn't desire it. And, Lelouch would be dead tomorrow. He didn’t want to say it.

 

"It's nothing," Lelouch finally said.

 

He didn’t see a point in saying it, really. What was the point? After all the pain he’s caused Suzaku, Suzaku would not love him. He doesn’t deserve anything from Suzaku; and he sure as hell doesn’t deserve his love, of all the things.

 

“Tell me. Something is obviously on your mind.” Suzaku said, looking at him, resting his chin on his hand. “I’m listening.”

 

“Drop it, Suzaku. We know the Zero Requiem is tomorrow, anyways. Such trivial things don’t matter at this point. We can’t let our feelings get in the way of this.” Lelouch responded, turning away from him. He began to walk out of the room, just to avoid any more conversation about it with Suzaku.

 

Suzaku was  _ not  _ having any of that.

 

Suzaku ran over to Lelouch, grabbed him by his robes, and threw him against the wall with such force that Lelouch’s eyes opened widely and his breath was taken away.

 

“I’m tired of you putting on the facade of the Emperor of Britannia, and pretending like you’re so strong and you don’t care! You forget we’ve known each other all these years, since before the war started! Stop pretending like you don’t care, stop pretending like you’re fine, stop pretending like I don’t know what’s going on with you! You can’t put up a facade with me like you can with the rest of the damn world, Lelouch! I know the real you, and I have for a long time. Now... _ tell  _ me what’s wrong. Please.” His tone softened, and he grasped Lelouch’s silky white robes in his fingers. 

 

Lelouch stood up straight and took Suzaku’s hands and removed them from the grasp of his robes. 

 

“I’m in love with you, Suzaku.”

 

It came out so easily. 

 

They both stood in silence for a few moments.

 

“Suzaku, I have hurt you. I’ve done things I can never take back. I killed your beloved Euphemia, I killed many Japanese citizens, and I commanded you to live because I was too afraid to lose you. I don’t deserve anything from you, I don’t deserve your friendship, your trust, I don’t even deserve you talking to me at this very moment or you as my knight. I sure as hell do not deserve your love.” Lelouch said to him, looking him straight in the eyes.

 

“How long?” 

 

“Excuse me?” 

 

“How long have you...been in love with me?” 

 

“Since I saw you again. Ever since before this damned rebellion began. You say you know the real me, but you would have never known back then I would have ever killed all of these people, waged a war with my own country, and eventually, with the entire world. You would have never known I would have thrown my humanity away with the power of Geass. Which came with a price; killing and destruction. Of everything. You do not know the real Lelouch. You knew the one who lied to everyone, who lied to Nunnally, to you, to Shirley, Milly, Nina, Rivalz, everyone...it was an act. I threw away my humanity long ago, and now I am paying a price. I lost everyone and everything dear to me. And the ironic thing is, although I threw away my humanity, I am still somehow in love with you. I can still feel love, although I threw away everything else.” Lelouch responded to him, with a small smile forming on his face.

 

“I don’t believe you’ve thrown away all of your humanity. You say that, but I believe there’s still some good in you somewhere. You’re right. I wouldn’t have known you would do those things. And I hated you. I hated you so much for killing Euphy, I wanted to kill you. But, I know now. I know that you didn’t do it on purpose. And...I can’t say I forgive you. Not yet. It may take my whole life. But, I’m trying to--” 

 

“And before you say anything else, I know you were in love with Euphemia, Suzaku. It will make the rejection easier, for the most part. If you’re not going to say you’re going to reject me for everything I’ve done, I do know you were in love with her.”

 

“I don’t know if I loved her.”

 

“What?”

 

Lelouch was taken aback.

 

“She...one night, when I was in the Lancelot, fighting, she told me that she was in love with me, and...I didn’t know what to think. I didn’t know if I loved her. I kept thinking about it, and I still didn’t know. I didn’t know...but I don’t think I did.”

 

“Why do you think you didn’t?”

 

Lelouch asked him, looking at him intensely. He was seriously confused. Him and Euphemia were always together, and it always seemed like he was seriously in love with her.

 

“I thought maybe I was in love with someone else.”

 

“Who--”

 

Lelouch got cut off as Suzaku pushed him against the wall again and kissed him gently. Lelouch hadn’t expected this; not at all. Suzaku pulled away.

 

“You know, you’re supposed to be a genius, the person who overthrew the Britannian government, but you couldn’t figure out who I was in love with?” Suzaku asked him, leaning back in and kissing him harder this time. They kissed for awhile, and Lelouch suddenly pushed him away. 

 

“What’s wrong?” 

 

“We can’t...do this, Suzaku. We can’t let our emotions get in the way of the Zero Requiem. We have to do this, whether we both want to, or not. I’m sorry. I love you, and I’m sorry. But we have to.” 

 

With this, Lelouch left the room. 

 

They didn’t talk the rest of the night.

 

 

* * *

It was time for the Zero Requiem. 

 

Everything had been set up, and everything was going according to plan. 

 

That was, until Suzaku angled the sword, so it stabbed Lelouch in the side, instead of the heart.

 

Everything went black.

 

 

* * *

Lelouch woke up in a hospital bed, and Suzaku was right next to him.

 

His first thought wasn’t anything like “Where am I?”

 

No, instead the first thing to leave his mouth was: 

 

“Suzaku, why the hell am I still alive?!”

 

“Bastard, don’t just think you can command me to live, and then think you get to die. Especially when you confess your love to me. This is payback.” Suzaku said, tears falling down his cheeks, as he kissed Lelouch.

 

“You know we’re both going to pay an extreme price for this? But we’ll figure things out. Together. After all...there’s nothing in the world you and I can’t do together, right?” Lelouch asked, smiling when he pulled back from the kiss. 

  
“Right.” Suzaku responded with a small nod, and they held each other close.


End file.
